Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
