So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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