I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
