I am puke
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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