he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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