I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
