So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
