I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also, beer. Big fan.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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