I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
