But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
