If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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