Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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