I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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