It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
