Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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