So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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