I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
