I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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