Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
