sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
