Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
