Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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