you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
