it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We need to get me chipped asap
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
