Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
