No stitches, just platelets and will power
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
