omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
