Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
