if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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