I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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