you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
