ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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