Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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