Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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