So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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