So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Farmville is her only friend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
