Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I believe in your delicious
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
