Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
zippers are such a cool invention
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
