I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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