im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
