Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
