I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
