right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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