Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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