i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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