It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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