Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
