dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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