she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
