I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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