i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
