I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
