My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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