So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
